There are three different kinds of drunk depending on what you are drinking. Every good drunk knows this, but maybe some newbie thinks getting jacked up on Jack will bring him the same feelings and pleasures as pounding a 12 of Busch Lite. Likewise, if Jackie New-drinker thinks he is going to have the same experience drinking wine he is sadly mistaken.
The 3 Brands of Drunk
Beer – The most definable kind of ‘drunk.’ When people talk about getting drunk people usually think of the person drinking beer (this is different than people talking about getting hammered which – usually – involves liquor being the culprit). A good happy feeling. Stress slightly dissipates and day to day problems lie by the wayside, tho often still at the edge of our mind. You slur, you stumble, but you can still think clearly enough to get out an idea or sentence that mostly makes sense. Your friends and you continue to play beer pong and cards until one-by-one you pass out from the alcohol.
Wine – Dionysus must have been a happy god…how else could wine have such a different feeling then beer? It’s a happy – but it’s a giddy happy. The kind that doesn’t just push your worries away, but makes you utterly forget about them. It doesn’t matter if you are with a group of people (we can pretend they’re your friends if you wish) or by yourself, enjoying a few bottles while watching ‘The Producers’ or ‘Beauty and the Beast.’ That’s another thing – wine makes colors pop. Cartoons, Disney movies pop so much more if you have a few glasses of wine. Even sitcoms and movies are more interesting, your eye catching every detail.
Liquor – (This excludes Jagermeister because all bets are always off with the Devil’s juice) Liquor is like a mix of beer and wine – on steroids. Angry, angry things can happen with liquor. Liquor causes the stumbles, the slurring and it CAN cause the giddiness. But the giddiness can easily turn to anger. Liquor can be a emotional roller coaster causing screaming, tears, smiles, yelling, tears, grins and repeats.
Of course this all depends on the person – not everyone handles liquor or wine or beer the same, just like the amount matters as well. And like I said, don’t count Jagermeister as just a normal liquor because it’s brewed in the deepest bowels of Hell with the blood of hell hounds and demon parts.
Brought to you by Grog
Drinking Carlo Rossi Blush
(Don’t judge, free booze is the best booze)
